26th March, 2008,
I cannot forget this day in my life. My ammamma left me on this day…..
Many a relatives, has said
to me that, she was a tough person, or it is quiet difficult to get along with
her, But I was her most favourite grandchild.
The will power she had was
beyond one’s expectation. She was very modern, she was not superstitious. She
always told me, if I was educated at that time, I would have been a magistrate
today….Yes, she could be, when we came to know the hardships she faced in her
childhood and then how she overcame it, and after marriage,she learned reading
and writing…Yes, she read English also….not the sentences, but she understood
the alphabets…..she after coming to Delhi, learned to speak hindi also……
I always called her Amma,
during my childhood, we spoke only for 3 days a week, on the other 4 days, we
quarreled with each other, and we didn’t talk with each other. But on that days
also, everything was regulat. She packed my lunchbox, she came to call me back
from school, she will hold my school bag…..everything was normal, except the
talking part…..after that, we talked with each other, as if nothing had
happened, and again the next quarrel starts…..
After grown up, she was more
than a grandmother, she was just like a friend. I shared my college experiences
with her….She listened to it, argued with me on right and wrong. Till today
many of my friends (Esp. Boys) remember her . They always tell the taste of
food by her….
She knows a little bit of
astrology, so, I asked her many questions. Her answers were always positive and
motivating. I always asked her, amma……when will I get a govt. job, she said……konthe,
illaida, onak ath kidakath, aana athuk mele yenavath kidakum…..Sometimes, she
told me…..I am going to die….then at that time I cried, then she soothed me….Onak
2 kuzhanthakal aayi, avale paarth, nee nalla oru positionle aayit thaan naan
poven….and she kept her word…..
One day, while we were all
away from home, she got her first heart attack, at that time, she was cleaning
the home, she felt the pain. She quickly laid down in the coat, after some
time, she got up and completed the cleaning. In the evening, when we came, she
told us that, she had a little pain. Ani took her to the doctor, the doctor
came to know that this was the condition. The doc was appa’s friend, so he
quickly called appa, and asked him to take her to medical college, and asked
amma, not to move or walk. But then she walked coolly from the doctor’s home to
the nearest junction to get into a autorickshaw, and when we rushed her to the
medical college, they put her in the ICU for 5 days. I still remember, when
during the time allotted, I went to see her in the ICU, she started talking……then
the nurse told her, not to talk too much.
Who cares……she told me…Nee
aathile poyi comb ellam eduthund vaa, naan thalaye vaari pinni ketti vittaren….where
the doctor has asked her not to take even a mug of water with hands.
The will power she had is
amazing…..On the day of March 25th When I went to see her, she was a
little bit out of senses. She was showing the last moment symptoms. Ididn’t get
it, but later came to know about it.
She was unable to know
people. But the moment, I held her hand, mummy asked, athai, ith yaaru
shollaraya…..suddenly she said: ith ennode kuzhanthai aakum….and then she asked
me , nee innak pokanda, enge ennod kittake paduthuko…I laid down with her in
the night, she was talking too much in the night, I asked her, ammak ini aare
aavath parkanama, the moment, she answered: konthe, paar ennod intha right side
poyach, kannuk kazhcha illai, naalek noon intha time minnadi naan poyiduven. Ini ennale yaareyum paaka
mudiyatha. She knows that death was approaching. I asked her, amma
bhayamirukka, ethukkudi bhayapedanam, enakanalum ponam….ath oru vela minthi
avalvo thane. She faced the death with the same calmness and steadiness with
which she faced the lifed. At this point I asked, amma ippadi yellam
shollaraye, amma ponna, inime ennak yaaru irukka, at this point she told me, unak
eppo venamanalum enne koopadalam, naan un kitteye iruppen….nee kanne moodi naan
vanthuduven.
Yes, till date, whenever I get
a little bit tensed, I remember her, the face gives me good soothing and solace,she
sometimes, speaks to me , she advises me….I feel her warmth, when I enter the
room where she had her last breath, We in our home, never ever has felt that,
she is no more, she is there, talking to each and everybody.
I do want to write more
about her, but tears are not allowing …….
